Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
