Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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