FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
