his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
