i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
