she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
