i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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