You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
