Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
