He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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