I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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