wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
