dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You ate ashes out of my bong
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
