Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
