I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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