know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
