Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
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