he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
