I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
