I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
