I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
