Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
