Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
