where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
