I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize