Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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