Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
