Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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