Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
