yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
