even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
