i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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