Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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