she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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