im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
