just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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