Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
