im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
