Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
