So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
