Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I stole a fireplace last night.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize