I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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