I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
