His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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