I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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