Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
