I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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