apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
