You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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