you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
