home. puking in laundry basket.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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