did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
