I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
